My Story~*~ Prologue~*~ My Past and Present

This is where my story begins. Every story has to begin somewhere, right? I have decided to improve my life by getting the Gastric Bypass surgery on August 17, 2011. But to explain more about myself and the journey, we need to go back to way long ago. So sit tight and enjoy the ride.

Well to start off my early life was great. My childhood was very active. I am the youngest of four kids. One older half sister, Patti, one older brother, Derek, and one full sister, Ashle. Derek, Ashle, and I were raised in a small town at the base of the Rocky Mountains called Simms, Montana. My parents, Ed and Sharon, were amazing parents. We couldn't of had better parents. They were strict, but also taught us many valuable lessons in what was right and what was wrong. We were also raised to have the values of hard work, trust, honesty, truth, and to be a good Christian. The biggest belief of my family was hard work. Work for everything you want, never expect a hand out. Hard work always came with a reward. To this day I still value hard work and honesty. Not many people recognize those values and beliefs.

My weight has affected me all my life. From the beginning I didn't have a weight problem. It started around age eight. I honestly don't remember what started the weight gain. My brother, Derek, was heavy for as long as I could remember, but active in football and wrestling. My sister, Ashle, she was heavy from day one and has struggled with weight all her life. She was a very good athlete and amazing basketball player and volleyball player as well as an honor roll student for all four years of high school. They were also both very popular in high school, Derek had won homecoming king his senior year of high school, while Ashle was the student body vice president her junior year and then later for her senior year was student body president and homecoming queen. Patti, from what I can remember she didn't struggle with her weight until she had her kids. My father has always been skinny, he does have a small tummy, but that's probably from my mom's wonderful cooking. My mom has always struggled with her weight. I remember when I was little going to a couple Weight Watchers meetings with her, and then watching her in the kitchen measure out potato chips on her scale so she could control our portions. Later in life I was talking to her and she told me that she had lost so much weight and went under her recommended weight that Weight Watchers thought she was anorexic. I honestly think that Derek's, Ashle's, and my weight problems stemmed from our mother's side, my grandmother, aunts, and uncle struggled. One aunt went up and down with her weight, I remember her being skinny then getting really heavy and the back down again.

Grade school was really rough for me since that's when I was developing in to a young woman. I started gaining weight around age 8. I was made fun of a lot, I think my weight played a huge role in the popularity contest in the small school I went to. I hated going to school. I really didn't have friends until I made it to Middle School. In Middle School, I decided to try out for cheerleading. Sports weren't my thing, I hated every aspect of basketball and volleyball even though my dad tried to have two all star basketball players, he only got one. But I remember getting off the bus before try outs and this girl told me that I am too fat and ugly to become a cheerleader, she and I got into a HUGE physical fight. I went home and looked at my self in the mirror and punched the mirror several times and broke it. I tried out and didn't make the cut. I wasn't hurt but I would have liked to at least participate. My parents did keep me busy during the summers with acting camps and 4-H. I had pigs and steers. My sister and I stuck with 4-H together until I was a senior in high school.

When high school came about, it was a different ball game. Hormones raging, awkwardness, and so close to becoming an adult. It drove probably my whole class insane. Well, Freshman year I finally got my dream of becoming a cheerleader, no not a varsity cheerleader, I was on the junior varsity squad. I loved it. I was still heavy but not too horribly chunky. I had my first crush, but he didn't like me so much.... I don't think he likes me too much to this day! I think my weight had a big part in him not liking me too much either. I also participated in Track and Field, it wasn't my strong point, but hey at least I tried it. My Sophomore year, still struggling with my weight, I decided not to try out for cheerleading, instead I was a mime in speech and drama. My act was about a doctor doing open heart surgery and leaving some tools inside of my patient after I had sewed them up. It got a lot of laughs. Junior year came. I was the school mascot. The Tiger!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't get along with a few of my squad mates so that only lasted one season, which was special to me since Ashle was a senior that year, I got to be part of her senior year basketball season. My senior year I went back to Speech and Drama. This time I was in a humorous duo with an amazing partner, we won several second place awards and medals, even made it to State competition. As for dating, I had a date to my senior prom, we had a blast. He was from another school and I knew him through Speech and Drama. I was heavy all through high school and didn't really date at all. Just had friends and when I wasn't away and Speech and Drama meets, I was at home on Saturday nights, I really didn't like going out. I think my parents were happy that I stayed home.

As an adult, I went to college for two years and hated it, I didn't want to go to school anymore, I wanted to be DONE! I didn't start officially dating until I was 19. He was in the Air Force, and I thought I was going to marry him and have his babies. It didn't last the long. He was dishonest to me, so we broke up. It sent my into a downward spiral. I didn't care about anything after the relationship ended. I even dropped out of college. But I didn't turn to food, instead I had several one night stands, which I regret all of them to this day. I also think that my weight affected how I looked to employers when I went to a job interview. I would enter the job interview greeted with a sneer, and nothing back from the employer. I gave a great interview as well. I also think it had to do with my performances at work too. I worked as a Certified Nurse Assistant and I was constantly on the move and the weight started coming off. I didn't eat much during that time and was working the night shift. I didn't do anything except work and sleep. Then I got out of being a CNA and started working at Target. I had so much fun there, but I quit to go back and be a CNA, much more money there. I also started looking into going into the Army and lost quite a bit of weight with the help of the Army recruiter. I worked hard and was on the Atkins diet. With working out, on a low carb diet, and all the moving around I was doing as a CNA, I lost a lot of weight fast. Well my mom got sick and I decided not to go into the Army. I wasn't ready and wanted to be there if anything happened to my mom. So I stopped working out and during that time I turned 21. I started drinking a lot and running around with my best friend and not letting my parents know where I was since I was still living at home with them. I started gaining my weight back slowly.

Well by December of 2005 I had met Mike. I fell in love with him and wanted to know more about him and be part of his life. We had a lot of fun together. So we moved in together and got into some trouble in the small town where we lived in Montana. So to get better lives for ourselves we decided to move to Arizona where Mike was raised. It was really hard at first because we had no money and nothing to our names and lived with his mom. I felt his family didn't accept me at first. Now they are amazing, and proud to call them part of my family. But my weight had grown to be over 150 pound gain in about a total of 5 years. I was never depressed, but I didn't have a job for about close to a year and stayed home and ate everything in our house out of boredom and ate out a lot at fast food restaurants. I kept getting lazier and lazier. Until I finally got a job at the place I have been for pretty close to 3 years now. My weight never affected our relationship except during sex (yes I know TMI, but this is all about my weight and what things in my life have affected it.) We do have a very active and healthy sex life, but it got boring because of weight, same thing every time. It became unenjoyable for him.

Some of my major struggles with food and eating have been the cravings, the easy access, and my relationship with Mike. He is my food buddy, we enjoy everything together. We have similar tastes in food. So it's easy to go get a soda and dollar menu for McDonalds and be done with dinner, no dishes, no work, and sitting infront of the TV with him and watching a movie was so easy to just eat our fast food dinner. Another struggle I have had was wanting more of something that tasted so yummy! I just had to have more and more. Why quit when it was so good that it was almost a high? Never once I have ever emotional ate. It's not my thing. Yes chocolate came into play as a comfort food when I needed it. I have always loved healthy food, currently I am learning how to make that more yummy than the junk food that was once my down fall. My struggles have changed over the years only because moving from rural Montana to the big city in Arizona. You have 24 hour access to anything you want. Honestly, not a good thing for someone who struggles with weight. I also found that self control is a hard thing, but you have to be hard on yourself if you want to succeed in anything. And my success with this Surgery is important to me.

My story is going to change after my weight loss because I am not going to be the insecure, chubby girl who was made fun of in high school. I am going to be the confident woman who I should be with or without weightloss surgery. I want my story to change in so many ways. I want to have children and be more active. My goal is to participate in a half marathon. And change my way of life. This is a lifestyle change that I need to do for myself, and no one else. I am not going to change any of my values and beliefs because of this surgery. Hard work always pays. Honest gets you places, if you aren't honest then why even try? I am going to have new values and beliefs to go right along with the ones I already have in place.

My life is really worth living right now is because I am 27, I have my whole life infront of me. I can't wait to start my new chapter in life, bringing Mike with me is going to be even greater. He has changed his ways of living right along with me. It's great to have support. I am looking forward to a better quality of life and living it everyday with Mike.

I am motivated towards my success because I want to live to be 105, have children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. I want a better quality of health and life. I have to be outstanding in my life with my job, dedication to what I want to achieve and knowledge of what I am getting into so I know what's going to be happening to me during my new lifestyle change in order to fulfill my destiny.

So thank you to all my supporters out there. It's going to be hard for me. I am happy to have you as my friends, lover (Mike), and family. Even if I didn't have you guys I'd still do it, but with you along for the ride, it's going to be so much easier!